my fear...

today i discover one of my fear.....

fear of doing mistake(s)...

have u ever done a mistake...like do a white lies, take 4 cents from the spillage of donation box at post office to pay yours bills...or maybe u break a glass at hotel, or maybe u send a wrong info on something that not so important.

i have,,,and i feel worse.

all of us do mistake, but for me it is like doing a crime. this morning i miss type a page number, and i kept on thinking till this moment. i always double check all my sms before i sent aspecially if that sms is for someone important, and it is a normal things for me to reread my sent messages times to times is in case ive said something wrong.

i always feel the guilty of 'crime' i ve done to several people around me, and sometimes i feel like going to find my lost fren to ask for forgiveness...

writing all this is not resembling my perfectioness or what, but sometimes i am bothered too much by this fear. and i want to think like someone else.

"lantaklah, nanti ada laa org lain ganti".

"pedulik jer,, bukan ada org realise pun"

" biarlah, macam la kita jer buat mistake, suma org buat"

but i cant think like that. i have the eagerness that the mistake is not from me, let anything related to me is ok but the mistake is by someone else. but i am no angel. i ve done mistake. terasa sakit perut bila fikir pasal ni.


or maybe this is only monday sickness?